Haven Review: Taking Haven in Cliches

Haven is according to Syfy based upon Stephen King's Colorado Kid and judging by the show it's about as close to the novel as the Ku Klax Klan is to getting a majority on Capitol Hill. Yes Haven really is not like a Stephen King story at all outside of a reference to the book. How so well the book is about a team of newspaper editors, who are in the show but minor characters. No, are main characters are Audrey who is a hard nosed by the books female FBI agent. Wow I have never heard of any show where we had that kind of character (Warehouse 13, Bones, The X Files, Castle etc.).

Well the basic story of the first episode is an entirely new take on the idea of a detective story: she's comes to Haven looking for a man but finds him, BUT HE"S DEAD. Now that you have got back on your feet after that shocking plot turn I'll continue the story. Well Haven you see is a seemingly normal Maine town but there seems to be a dark mystery behind the town. Think Twin Peaks except with more lobster fishing.

Well okay less snark more intelligent criticism (teh gurls tits aren't beeg enoff). So let's start with the show's main problem: mystery storytelling Sesame Street style, by which I mean all the clues are like the clues on an episode of Scooby Doo, so blatantly obvious you wonder if the cast was recently lobotonized. So they find are dead guy fell off a cliff so we go to the clifftop and find items from Clue meaning Lady Wellington did not kill the butler.

So after an hour of are characters running around finding more road signs and photographs of the murderer holding the dead guy's head. They solve the mytery (yeah shocker they solve it) and Audrey has found strange connections of her life (yeah orphan backstory) to the town and decides to stay there.

Now while a murder in clam fisher town could have made a decent spin off of Twin Peaks (Twin Lobsters?) back in the early nineties. Yes, the homey towns folk are lovable espacially the newspaper guys and are male lead, a cop who has that condition where you can't feel pain so he must of made a great tackling dummy. Still you may wonder since when did Syfy make CSI Maine if it's a science fiction programming channel. Well this is a town with people who are superhuman so like if Twin Peaks (okay last fucking Twin Peaks reference) met the X Men. This episode has a character who can control the weather conditions of the town with her emotions so lots of fog and wind like clam digging version of Storm from Earth-WTF.

If I must commend cliche cop woman Audrey is that unlike a lot of shows the fact based girl accepts this witchcraft immediately which people should in film and television after seeing them first hand. Back to hate. See the biggest problem with the show is that it's trying to be the Eureka Warehouse 13 crossover we all want to see. I want a story based on a Stephen King novel to have dark elements of the story.

So overall Haven needs to man up and dive into the idea of actually making a show like a King novel. For now though we have a Eureka rip off on the same channel Eureka is one so go watch Eureka instead. Maybe the show will get better but as it is now it's not looking good.