Limbo Review: Black and White and Great All Over

Are video games truly art? Name one game that gave you an emotional response, you know like art does. Was it Aerith died in your arms (why couldn't I use a Phoenix Down)? Or maybe when Dom was forced to  shoot his wife to end her suffering almost an arguement for assisteed suicide in Gears 2. I had one recently, it was a recently released game for XBLA called Limbo. Not only did the developers PlayDead, get an emotional response out of me it knit the other half of gaming art: the visuals and sound went with the gameplay perfectly. Not only is this one of the best downloadable games ever, it's also one of the best you'll play throughout the entire year, ahead and past.

If Inception had Samurai, B-52's and Dragon's

For those who do not lnow this trailer is for Zack Snyder's next film Sucker Punch about a Baby Doll a  1950's girl who is put in a asylum where she wants to escape from before her lobotomy and is training for it in her imagination creating a kick ass alternate world where she and her equally sexy inmate girlfriends learn to kick ass and take names. The movie has sexy girls with machine guns and swords, Nazis, Samurai giants with katanas, axes and gatling guns, dragons, futuristic cities, and of course the sexiest man on television, Don Draper. Because when I think over the top, insane action flicks I think Mad Men.

Avengers Assemble! Against Homophobia

Yes your eyes do not deceive, an entire army of nerds, geeks and cosplayers fought back against a couple of Westboro Catholic Church douchebags who want all homosexuals, nerds and Lady Gaga fans to die in the burning pits of hell were probably very suprised when Bender, Jesus and many others counter protested.
More pics and vids after the break

God of Thunder versus God of Painting

No your eyes do not deceive you it's the ultimate battle of mythology, Amaterasu, god of the sun (and painting) and star of overlooked gem 2006 PS2 gem Okami versus Thor, legendary Norse warrior reinvented by Stan Lee for Marvel comics and has been around for over 40 years fight to the hypothetical death like what will eventually happen to Deadliest Warrior when they run out of the real warriors of history. I shall search Marvel vs Capcom 3 fights to honor not only the game but Comic Con as well. Stay Tuned for more vids from Comic Con and no I'm not there I'm just posting funny or nerdy videos.

Note: The actual fight last between 0:45 and 1:20, but there is lots of other shots of both gods kicking major ass against Dante & Ryu and Captain America & Iron Man.

Inception Review: Dream A Little Dream

We all remember the truly significant movies of history don't we. What's that you say films like Citizen Kane, 2001: A Space Odyssey, The Godfather series, Casablanca, Vertigo? No you idiot truly innovative films are movies like The Matrix and Terminator 2. Okay what I mean by this are movies that go in and redefine the action genre by raising the bar for action sequences, special effects and technology. Now I know what your thinking (again, see I'm the male clone of Jean Grey) Avatar (lick, lick) did that last December. Well Avatar I will admit did all of that. The diffrence is that the last part of what makes these films revolutionary is having an original and thought provoking screenplay. With Terminator 2 the ideas of the march forward of are technology and the consequences of are decisions. The Matrix  made us think about the same thing I guess but also the nature between fantasy and reailty. The only thing Avatar brought up was how many times Cameron watched Dances with Wolves. But Inception is one of the former.

The Last Airbender Review: It Better Be The Last

The Last Airbender is a painfully bad movie, and not because it so poorly adapts the show but for that and so many other reasons. When I consider digging a tunnel under my seat to get into the Eclipse theater next store that's a bad sign. And yes I am a fan of the show. But before I tear every other bullshit part of this movie I want to make a case about the 3D which is very big on the ads and posters. These are fucking lies: I asked my seatmate if he remembered any 3D effects and me and him could only think of the opening title. So Mr Shyamalan you have exploited people who like the third dimension into coming and seeing your shitty ass movie. Nice job for someone who once made The Sixth Sense.

The Audio Log: Gotta Catch Em All

Many have noticed these days that any game that features a post disaster environment (Singularity, FEAR, BioShock), will probably feature the new collection based idea that was once flags or coins that is the audio log. So let's set up the idea with BioShock: your wandering through the water damaged, blood stained restaurant and according to the arrow I should leave. But fuck that arrow, I don't know maybe it lied to you as a child so your family missed the Disneyland turn off and you got to spend that weekend vacation in a motel instead of hugging a fourty year old virgin, I mean Mickey Mouse. Yeah anyway, you go into the kitchen where your hit with a frying pan by the mutated chef but one shotgun blast takes him down, and looking around the kitchen I find one of the leaders of the city's audio log in the pantry.

OMG It's The God of War Movie Trailer

Holy crap check it out, Sony (those crafty bitches, hiding this movie's development from us) has released the God of War's movie trailer. It looks just a bit diffrent but still looks totally faithful to the game. Jaffe might be missed at it but he probably yells at his icecubes in his freezer for being pussies for not being water.

Okay in all fairness this is a really creative faux movie trailer which is something you wouldn't put together: Juno and God of War, a pregnancy slice of life comedy and a game where I cut off the god of the sun's head and used it for my own personal flashlight. Still if Sony does actually make the real God of War movie it will probably be A: shite, B;shite, and C: star Taylor Lautner.

Haven Review: Taking Haven in Cliches

Haven is according to Syfy based upon Stephen King's Colorado Kid and judging by the show it's about as close to the novel as the Ku Klax Klan is to getting a majority on Capitol Hill. Yes Haven really is not like a Stephen King story at all outside of a reference to the book. How so well the book is about a team of newspaper editors, who are in the show but minor characters. No, are main characters are Audrey who is a hard nosed by the books female FBI agent. Wow I have never heard of any show where we had that kind of character (Warehouse 13, Bones, The X Files, Castle etc.).

Pathetic Previews: Vampires Suck

After the down right pathetic trailer for Let Me In I decided to rip movie trailers in written form as it it endlessly fun and by the way yes you may count Let Me In as episode one of this series. But for now I not so proudly present the trailer of Vampires Suck.


First off I hate all the movie movies: the Scary Movie series (except maybe the first one, that one is ok), Date Movie, Meet the Spartans and Epic Movie which is probably one of the worst films of the entire decade. Well since these guys need to continue to punish the movie going audience because we were mean to them when they were kids or something they have released Vampires Suck a film taking the piss out of the Twilight series which to be completely honest I go see on their opening weekend.

Man is the Indian Punisher Different

I mean I thought I would have heard of Marvel giving away the rights I mean sure there is some glaring differences. I don't remember Frank Castle wearing sunglasses or riding a motorcycle sleeping or fighting clones of V from V for Vendetta. Nor do I believe that Frank Castle ever took time out from killing or angsting to get dancing lessons. I'm also pretty sure he doesn't have psychic powers and fly unless that's a recent continuity addition. But I gotta admit this outdoes both shit Hollywood movies. Also that woman looks very fine.

Predators Review: Welcome Back Joey Crabface

Predator is hands down one of the best movies of the 80's and definitely one of Arnold Schwarzenegger best films (who's resume also fills some of my favorite 80's movies: Conan, Terminator etc.). It's also on record of having the worst series rate ever up there with Psycho (seriously why did we need a Psycho 2, 3 and 4?) or Jaws. Predator 2 sucks so hard I think this movie is trying to write it out of continuity. And don't get me started on how much Alien vs Predator is one of the worst ideas since... well Freddy vs Jason. But now thanks to incredibly awesome producer Robert Rodriguez we finally after 23 fucking years we have a Predator movie that can stand next to Predator. It even remembers to bring the blind firing into the jungle where they can't hit a damn thing.

The Only Thing That Could Make Firefly More Badass...

Would be a badass 80's opening theme. Props to the guys at io9 for making such a badass opening. Now if we ever tap into the power to move between dimensions and we find one where Joss Whedon's masterpiece (better than Buffy by a mile and even Buffy is really badass) was not stupidly aired out of order and cancelled with only a true gem of first season to it's name + a finale movie, than hopefully this is it's theme song. Because the theme song (Fox selected it I guarantee) is a bit bad because the I'm pretty sure sci fi geeks don't listen to country western.  Yeah we get it, it's a space western. Also about the opening (this opening) where is Simon Tam. Never mind who cares this is too good.

Warehouse 13: Nothing Changes But HG Wells

Syfy (sorry that name is still stupid), has a hit on it's hands with Warehouse 13 and as a science fiction fan I'm glad to see it. Warehouse 13 is one of the few more upbeat sci fi shows still around and while I love the darker storylines of Fringe and V. This is definetly one of the show's strengths but it's not it's best. No the show's best quality is the crush it has on the entire genre of science fiction.

Why Grand Theft Auto Sucks

Yes you read that right, in my opinion Grand Theft Auto sucks. Now before the comments are filled to the brim with hateful trolls and death threats, I do not hate Grand Theft Auto. I love the game's story, gameplay, graphics etc. I do not believe it affects children and that it is a very good dark satire of America. And for this I love it but what sucks is it's open world. And again yes it's detailed and full of awesome cars to steal and citizens to snipe but my problem is what it's open world of. A metropolitan city.

Singularity Review: Revenge of the Power Glove

I really, really wanted to love this game. I have been excited about it ever since the first details back in January of 2009. I followed the game's progress, watching every trailer and reading as many articles as I could. But like Raven Software's last two games X Men Origin Wolverine and Wolfenstein the game has come out mediocore. Well I better get to the meat.

Why Pre Orders are Bullshit

Pre Orders are bullshit. Plain and simple. But I probably better explain. First I shall cover my ass by saying yes pre ordering can be a good option sometimes but not very often. In fact extremely rarely. Here's some examples:

Future Series

I'm thinking of doing trailer reviews because yesterdays review of Let Me In's Trailer (by the way title change is stupid and the only reason they did that is because the producers believe your to stupid to figure out the title: Let The Right One In) was so much fun that considering people can get so hyped up over shit trailers that it's always nice to rip the marketing department a new one. Concept finished next up: name.

NOTE: Probably will do Tv and Game trailers as well.

Please Tell Me You Let The Wrong Trailer In

Let the Right One In is one of the smartest written horror and vampire movies ever made. So if you don't about your wondering how could such a movie be forgotten. Well you never saw it in a cinema, unless you live in Sweden. Yes the movie is Swedish so for sub haters steer clear and wait for the remake where they pump some steroids into it and americanize it. Yes the trailer looks like the movie will be very diffrent as it won't have some things that made the original fantastic like twisted morality and ambiguity as these are words few executives know. Maybe it's the rock trailer music playing over it or the main boy character doesn't look like blonde boygirl (actually that's a good thing) but this looks like another poor remake.

Updates

Yes, there's been little activity since Sunday and for that I apologize. I happened to have a lot I wanted to load off last week and maybe I did that too quickly but I had to dump a lot of the game previews because those kinda need to be done very quickly. If you want some things I will be writing soon here's a list of things:
-Futurama Reviews: This show will get weekly episode reviews so stay tuned for tomorrow
-Transformers War for Cybertron Review: will be late as I ordered it online and it still has yet to show so possibly not even until next week
-Singularity Review: Playing it as we speak (or you read)
-Other things are probably a review of Persons Unknown, possibly I might see Knight and Day, I will definetly review The Last Airbender

Today though look forward to an editorial on Wonder Woman's new costume